


Ten and a Half Blocks

by Babeanaleaf



Series: Ten And A Half Blocks [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coma, F/F, FTM Dave, Feels, Gen, M/M, Multi, Sadstuck, but there will be a little fricking, just sayin, some shippings dont come in till later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-05 23:36:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babeanaleaf/pseuds/Babeanaleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Dave Strider, or that's who you wish to be. You were stuck in this body that serves you as a prison. Your name is- was Elizabeth Strider But Elizabeth is dying, shedding away until only Dave remains<br/>This is your story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alyssa O](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Alyssa+O).



> Haha this is like my first fan fic ever woop  
> I dedicate this to Riley for their liking in FTM Dave, and for getting me hooked on it so quickly.  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_OQpJQ3g3Q

......

"Dave?"

The way she knows exactly who called her at this hour makes your stomach turn, your heart flopping against the walls of your throat like a fish, it losing its forsaken steady rhythm.

It takes a moment for you to respond, the lump in your throat seeming to have sponged up every drop of saliva on your tongue, making you grip your phone tighter as you try to regain yourself, fighting with your own sweaty and shaky palm.

"..Yeah it's me-" You nearly croak out, and both of you fall quiet for what seems to be an era of stillness, the only sound was the wind making a tree hit the side of your apartment. The way you heard her inhale made you lightheaded, as if sucking the oxygen right out of you.

She was trying to read you just by hearing your voice over the phone, and it irritated you how you knew when she was doing it, knowing she memorized every part of you all too well. Unlike others, she could read you like an open fucking book.

"Dave, Dave, you can tell me" Damn her. The way she said your new name. You don't remember your mother, but if you did, this is how you imagined her sounding like. Anything she said to you was music, and left the aftertaste of honey on your tongue. The way she spoke so soothingly made you lose some of your tension, but not much of it.

You couldn't manage to utter out a single word, your vocal chords shutting down on you, and the silence between you two is almost physically painful, so she whispers again, she voice low as if someone might be listening.

"Dave, you can come over, my mother is out. We can talk, but please hurry, it's freezing out." She nearly whispered. You didn't say anything, but you didn't have a reason to, for you were already hanging up and getting up off your bed, sliding your phone into your jean pocket. You scout out your bedroom floor, a pile of clothes in the corner.

Exhaling, you run a hand through your hair as you walk over, leaning over and digging through it. Rose said it was cold, so you decided to listen and grab a hoodie rather quickly. She would scold you if you didn't.

After you slip it on, you run out of your room, not bothering to waste time and get socks as you slip on your shoes, your heels not even into your sneakers fully, reaching over and grabbing the keys off the kitchen table as you made your way out into the ice-like night. You're not even sure if you hear the door click closed behind you as you bolt down the walkway.

You needed to see her before you melted apart again, before you would shut down all together, mind collapsing in on itself, because it didn’t know what else to do and hit the self-destruct button. You hate it. You hate yourself for using her like a cabinet to shove all your problems in. But she acted like it was nothing, for giving in and dropping the mask you always wore around everyone you knew, and you never understood her smile and happy tone when she would say 'that's what friends are for', because you used to think all 'friends' were good for was borrowing a cigarette or a swig from a beer bottle.

 

Rose is a strange one.

You think just the title 'friend' doesn't cut it for her, but that’s something you will never admit to. Because right now you were so desperate to see her as you tried to keep up with how fast your feet wanted to move, stumbling down the sidewalk. You would take the bus, but you had no money and didn't want to stop and wait for one.

You felt your throat begin to sting as you unwillingly let the cold night engulf you, the chills pushing with full force through your veins, but that only made you run faster.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, seeking attention, wanting you to pick up, but you were positive that it wasn't Rose.

 

Not Rose at all.

You force yourself to stop for a moment, daring yourself to pull out your phone and answer, but you ignore it and keep traveling this seemingly endless street.

You didn't want to talk to him right now.

 

Or see him

Or hear him

Or be near him

You wanted him gone- no-

You...

\- - - - - -

You are 13, reliving the memory that stings your side like a bad mosquito bite.

It was the first day at this new school.

Bro had to move for better paying DJ jobs, ones in a bigger area. You had the feeling it was more than just that, but asking him only got the return of stiffness and Bro just pushing away the matter, saying what he used to convince everyone else why he had to move away from Texas. You hated it.

You hated the cold. You kept telling yourself that as you walked up the sidewalk, how fucking freezing it was compared to the beating sun of the Southern state.

You walk with a hunched back, backpack weighing you down as you made your way up the steps of the snow-cloaked brick school, pushing open the doors, kids hurdling past you into the maze of hallways, but most of them stop and turn to look at you, their faces saying they didn't know what to think of you.

Look away.

I know what I look like.

You kept your head down as you attempt trudging onwards.

You have a confession to make though.

The cold and the fact that it isn't familiar isn't the only reason why you don't like it here.

You didn't tell him, hell, he doesn't even know you moved, but you now live exactly ten and a half blocks away from your oldest and closest friend. (You knew because you counted. It was the first thing you did when you got here)

You've never been face to face with him before, you two online friends, and have been since as long as you could remember, and the way you two clicked was almost inhuman. You had met him in a chat room a while back, and even after everyone else left it, you two stayed on until you saw the sun sneak its way into the sky, and it kept going like that, you staying up with him for hours on end, seeing who would fall asleep first. Days turned to weeks, weeks into months, and the way you both knew each other like the back of your hands, unlike any friendship you've ever had; yet, knowing he would be going to the same school as you made you want to put a bullet through your skull. Meeting him would be the most terrifying thing you could think of.

Because when you met him and introduced yourself to him,

You told him you were a boy,

and he never questioned it.

He never minded that whenever he asked to skype or send a picture of yourself you said no.

In addition, he never minded that you would ask for ones of him though, and you found that a little strange.

Of course, he would get a little upset; I mean, who wouldn't want to see the person they've been spending every moment they could get. You told him you had no webcam, and your phone can't send pictures, but those were all lies.

You thought about him a lot more than you would admit to, and for some time, you felt telling him would take some of your insanity out of your mind, but it just caused more.

You would constantly hold the chilling metal scissors in your hand, tears cleansing your cheeks of the dirt, fingers sweaty and shaking, heating up the metal of the blades being held open, a lock of your nearly-white hair between.

You remember looking in the mirror and being overwhelmed by shame and insecurity, not seeing you, but seeing everything you swore you would never let anyone observe. Not even him.

No matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't.

It's not that you didn't want to, it's that-

God dammit.

You let your hands go limp, scissors clinking as they hit the tile floor, and you backed up against the wall, shoulders trembling uncontrollably, staring back at the deranged girl you saw on the other side of the window above the counter, a window into yourself.

Sliding down to the ground, you let your legs give out, choking on sobs that desperately tried to escape, clogged by the strength you ever so desperately clung onto, the fake will you coated yourself with; so much like cracking plaster.

These are the times where you would think,

Why did god put you in this body, this girl you don't even know. You hated it.

But more than that, you hated yourself.

 

You would think your own face and body would be familiar when you saw it

But the one you were given is so unfitting and awkward-

it's hideous, so out of place you don't accept that it's you.

Your eyes would shut, everything getting fuzzy, passing out on the icy bathroom floor. It was too inviting and welcomed against your pulsing and heated skin.

And the most embarrassing part is Bro having to be the one that finds you, looking like a corpse, pale and-well, looking quite dead. Mostly because the trails of red running down your arm, making it look like a murder case. God you wish it was.

 

It was scariest when you would wake up in bed and hear Bro talking to himself out in the kitchen about you. You couldn't hear clearly, but you knew.

Curling up and hugging your knees under the layers of sheets felt like the only true way to escape.

John would wonder what's putting you down, because he noticed everything. You couldn't hide shit from him.

And it would always end somewhat like this:

EB: You know, its okay tell me Dave

TG: i know it is

TG: but theres nothing to tell you

TG: im fine

EB: ..Dave, you sure nothing's up?

TG: pretty fucking positive egbert

TG: feel like the king of feeling great

EB: well, okay

TG: im okay

 

I’m okay

Just okay

\-------

You tossed a pebble at the side of her house.

Well, okay. More like flung a good sized rock. Hard.

Hit a window too, how smooth of you. You didn't have a damned clue on what else to do though, because she's on the second floor of her abode.  
You held back the emotions, but it was like putting out blazing flames with your bare skin. So you just swallowed down every feeling you wanted to let out, choking on it on the way down. You didn’t want to throw a tantrum in Rose’s front lawn.  
Shortly, you saw the lights flicker on, a silhouette appearing through her purple lace-trimmed curtains. (Probably made them herself) She gingerly pulled them back, revealing the pale and smooth face you were so used to seeing. Even when sleeping she kept her hair so neat.  
She tugged open the reluctant glass, then leaned against the sill, palm cupped around her cheek as her peered down at you.  
“David Elizabeth Strider.”

“Rosalind Bibelot Lalonde.”  
“You nearly shattered my bedroom window.”  
“Nearly.”  
She was planning to fire back at you, but when she could finally see past your charades that you played so often that it molded and became a part of you, her voice fell silent. Her jaw tried to find a position that didn’t make her feel awkward, lips parted ever so faintly.  
She ran from her window, and as soon as she was out of side you felt your body slump over out of habit, and you were hit with the realization.  
It’s tiring fighting the things that kill you from the inside.


	2. The Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I haven't updated in so long, and that this one is shitty and badly edited and short. i just have a lot of crap in my life going down at the moment and I barely have the time to write, let alone whip out chapter after chapter. I am shooting to update again next week more or less ahah *cries* thank you for putting up with me

==> be thirteen again

\--- ------  
You couldn't help but feel uneasy as you snaked down the hall, trying to avoid the wings on your shades getting clipped. They were the ones Bro (the king of irony himself) had given you back in the day, and you would never even leave your room without them, but not because you were hot shit with them on. Bro always complimented you on them even though he's the one that ordered them for you. (They’re too ridiculous to be found in stores) He told you they would keep you safe; safe behind the darkened glass so no one could see your eyes. You hated them, you spending hours having stared at them in the bathroom mirror, your hands clutching the edge of the veneer sink. Your red irises; like flames burning, looking for an answer in the bloody shade of red. The sting you felt from them never ended.  
It was back in elementary school when you were faced with the paralyzing reality on how different you were than the human bodies around you. The only reason you were allowed to wear the shades was because your Bro convinced the school you had a serious eye condition. Too much light makes them sting, he said. And that was in fact true. You didn't see why at first it was a big deal that you wore them, They didn’t hurt that bad. But on the first day, sitting at circle time around the teacher for story time with your six year old classmates, you noticed how white your hair was compared to theirs. You noticed how their arms weren’t usually as pale as your skinny and frail ones, freckles at random places like flicked ink on your skin; constellations from your wrists all the way up to your shoulders in a connect-the-dots mess.  
And not one of them had eyes like you.  
None of them had that crimson color you had, no one had the ring of red around their pupils, and it hurt to take it in. You felt like a deer in the headlights, but instead of just one car, there was enough for every kid in the room, surrounding you with the glaring fluorescent beams from their vehicles. Engines roaring, their laughter haunting you and rattling inside your skull as the girl at recess ripped the protection right off your face, giggling as she tried to run away with them, taunting you, the look on her face hurting your insides; feeling like all your organs were being rearranged. All you could get your body to do was stand there in shock, eyes unwillingly exposed.  
The girl with the ratty braids and pink frames stopped mid-skip as soon as she saw. Her expression was astounding, as if your eyes were bullet wounds instead, and-

You remember Bro coming to pick you up from school that day, you sniffling, fighting back the tears because you did not want to cry in front of him. You had scrapes on your knees that were still tender to the touch, your palms red from falling on the blacktop of the playground, the first layer of skin torn up. He picked you up off your feet, your head resting on his shoulder as he gave you a little squeeze.   
"You made it lil' sis"   
You felt yourself overflow when he said that, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him, closing your eyes tight, shades sliding up onto your forehead as you pressed your face harder into his white polo. He felt your little body shake in his bear-like arms, and he chuckled.  
He patted your back, then set you down, taking your little hand in his own as you walked with him out of the school, you secretly wiping the tears from behind your shades, hoping he wouldn't notice, looking the other way as you did it. You had to be tough. You wanted to be tough.  
Just like bro.  
\--------  
He had to go to this school, right? You mean- god he lived so close, of course he did. You wonder what he looks like. He had only given little details about himself, like the color of his hair and his height. You juggled thoughts in your head as you rip the neatly folded schedule from your pocket, opening it up. The paper was a light green and badly creased from the night before, you sitting in bed with it, unfolding it then refolding it, your nerves taking over as you chewed hard on your bottom lip.   
You hold the paper up close to your face to read, and also to hide from the looks people shot your way. The amount of kids in the fucking school made you even tenser, at least double the students from your old one. Jesus-  
The last thing you remember from that moment was you tumbling backwards because you hit something solid. You tried to catch yourself--and the binder plus notebooks you were carrying-- but it was too late for that. Your arms went flying forward to grab something to hold onto as you fell, but all you could do was grope the air. It took a moment to recover, you landing with a hard thud on the dirty snow-soaked tile floor. The white powder fell from your jacket all over your surroundings as you start scrambling to get up.   
“Shite-“  
"God I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-"  
When you look up, a boy is shooting the same timid face right back at you, his expression was a mix of worry and confusion, but that's all you could pull yourself to read in his body language.  
His eyes- god- they were the deepest of blues you've ever seen. They reminded you of that crystal-like oasis on the labels of plastic water bottles. His thick square glasses rested on his nose bridge, him having to push them up on his face slightly as he looked down at you.  
"Gosh I'm sorry, are you hurt?" He knelt down quickly, helping you gather your stuff. It took you a moment for you to gather your thoughts, trying to get your hands to be cooperative with you as you reached for your notebooks, getting on your hands and knees, trying not to make eye contact.  
You glanced at him, and you nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw he was raising an eyebrow at you. You felt your nerves try to get comfortable in your insides, you hearing him breath out a little laugh as he got the rest of your supplies, handing it to you, you hesitating to take it. The papers were a little damp, him making sure to be a little careful with them. Your hands were slippery with sweat, making you have to grip the books with both of them so they wouldn't fall to the floor again. You had to say something. The guy took his sweet time to help you out. You swallowed the desert on your tongue, lips parting to speak. You wanted to keep your cool, but oh god.   
"Thanks-" You croaked, wanting to go smash your head into the side of the eggshell-white hallway. He smiled at you, getting up, and then offering his hand to you. "It's all good here." You let him pull you up, you staggering as he smiled brightly at you, showing a little bit of his buckteeth. He was quite skinny, nearly as bony as you, but his skin was at least a good shade darker. It wasn't much of a surprise to you even though you lived in Texas your whole life up until this point. You were burned to a crisp more often than tan most of the time.  
"I'm John." He made a dorky grin. "Egbert" He added.   
"Elizabeth" You felt like it sounded like a squawk.   
"Well, it's a joy to meet you, but I better get going." He did a little wave, and then strode on down the hall.  
You stood still until you could no longer see him, John gone as fast as he came.  
It was him.   
You just got here  
And he had to be the first fucking person you had to meet.  
You felt your hands shaking as you felt this mental smack hit you hard. You didn't realize how hard this really was going to be until now. You never anticipated him like this; meeting him like this; seeing him like this. It was too much, the overwhelming pressure on your body felt like your knees were like magnets attracted to the core of the Earth. All you could do was stand there.  
And watch him walk away until he just a spec; like a raindrop falling into a puddle.  
You never wanted to see him again  
Yet you just met him.

-  
You remember that day walking into class (2 minutes late) and having to hand the teacher your slip, fidgeting, as he looked it over. He was standing in front of the class, about to give a lesson. His classroom was painted a pastel blue that was easy on the eyes, posters plastered on every free corner. Your slightly damp sneakers squeaked under the white tile, it matching the kind in the hallways. The teacher smiled at you through his circle glasses, leading you to an empty seat and-  
Oh god.  
"Well hello"


	3. The Third Longest Walk of Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have Dave being a complete dork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delay and typos ;^; I no longer have a computer to edit this on, so this didn't get the full tune-up it needed unu

One thing you have learned from Rose is that love comes in many shapes and forms. Sometimes-- most of the time really, you don't really get to pick either of those things.  
Love to Rose, is the little things, like the way their laugh makes your stomach feel like it's filled with stars; galaxies swirling in your mid-section. Or the way their fingers fit perfectly in yours, and always seem to keep yours warm during the endless and cold nights. It's the way they curl their bodies around you into the shape of a question mark, spine cracking and breaking, for they are not used to this touch of affection, and they hold you as if you are the answer.

But you are no answer,  
Yet they still hold you like you are one.  
And they will continue to search for it in the deepest and darkest parts of you; in the nooks and crannies you never even bothered to pay attention to (or ones you avoided at all costs). They tear down the doors you locked away years ago from everyone else to keep yourself safe.  
They rip you apart like an open heart surgery, dissecting you. And it feels like your organs are not all in the same place when they're done, because you ache in the strangest of ways when they whisper next to your ear; glide their fingers over your skin as if playing connect the dots with your freckles, and say those three words that make you lose the millions of sentences and trains of thought that you had in your head.  
It's the way they still hold out their hands for you yet they know they'll only end up with cuts and bruises. But they still wait for you.  
Because the pain they received while waiting for the touch of your fingers is worth while. Because you're the one who heals and kisses away the pain.  
Love to Rose  
is filled with things we forget to realize.

When Rose pulled open the door to her house, she nearly yanked you in, wrapping her arms around your waist tightly. She didn't give you time to think as she thrust her face into your chest.  
"You scare me to death sometimes, you know that? I almost got ready to run over to get you." One of her hands made it's way to your shoulder, her getting on the tips of her toes to look you in the eyes, her bare feet on the cold marble."Looks like you did that yourself." She wore a worried look on her face as she kissed your cheek, her black lipstick probably leaving a little smudge on your skin.  
Rose was your Tylenol.  
You stared at her, warning yourself to hold it in to at least till you were in her room, not in her doorway, half of your body still tasting the chilly night. She exhaled as you snaked your arms around her, closing your eyes. "Sorry, sis" You mumble into her hair.  
Without saying a word, you both backed away, her taking your hand in hers. Her fingers were so slender and delicate compared to yours, her skin silky  
She led you up the stone stairs, her room just a hallway away from reach now.  
Just a little longer.  
\-------  
Just a little longer.  
You thought to yourself as you tapped your pencil against your leg.  
You knew who the person sitting next to you was as soon as you layed your eyes on them. Bro told you about her. Her mother probably told her about you too. It's a thing guardians do. And that's not all bad, except the fact that you would prefer that you knew what she said about you.  
Rose.  
You've only met her once before, and that was back in the day too, back when you could barely talk, so it doesn't really count.  
He told you to think of her like your cousin and to be on your best behavior. Apparently Bro was good friends with her parents, but the more you took in the sight of her, the more you questioned that.  
Her hair was neat, cut short and very well kept, held back with a black satin-covered hair band. Her features were gorgeous; rosey cheeks, button nose, and soft purple eyes that you couldnt help but feel jealousy towards.  
She was like a little doll, her skin smooth and beautifully pale, making her look as fragile as porcelain, her small hands holding a thick chapter book close to her face. She tapped her toes against the floor as she read, black flats on her feet. You noticed the knitting needles sticking out of her purse, the long violet scarf hanging out.  
If she's really like this, then her mom will probably be the same. You can't imagine bro hanging with someone like this. Every time she caught you looking her way, she would smile with those black lipstick-coated lips, then breathe out a small laugh.  
"Hello, Elizabeth" her eyes reminded you of a cat, her voice like a pur.  
"Hey" You looked away, staring at the front of the class.  
"I've heard so much about you already" She rolled her eyes back to read. "Nice shades,Strider"  
"Same here. Sorta." You sigh, leaning back in your seat. You rub the back of your neck, not knowing any other way to carry out this conversation.  
"Personally, I would like it better if I introduced myself instead of you hearing about me through your parents."  
It stung a little when she said 'parents', but there was no reason to bring it up. You didn't want to leave the impression that you were a douche. "Go on ahead" She laughed silently at the fact that you didn't even turn to look at her.  
"I'm Rose  
Rose Lalonde"  
"Eliza Strider" You focused your attention on the paneled ceiling.  
"From Texas, right?"  
"Yeah, Texas City, Texas" You wondered where that stain was from. Probably a leak from when it rained. Ugh. Rain. It bothered you than you it wanted to.  
"Hm" She looked towards the front of class, then focused back on her book. "Well, Miss Elizabeth, it's a pleasure to finally meet you formally." She crossed her legs under her desk.  
"Pleasure's all mine." Your Southern drawl seemed so unlady-like compared to her. You make a note to yourself to work on that, because you're pretty sure that's what she was chuckling about.  
"Your accent. It's interesting. Cute." Fucking spot on. You knew it. She laughs at the way you try to turn away.  
"It ain't anything cute at all" You do your best to hide it. How long is this class again? The clock seems to move slower the more you look at it. It's driving you crazy.  
The sound of tip of the stick of chalk smacking against the blackboard driving you crazy, the words the teacher was writing looking like squiggles in the sand. Not because you didn't understand what the class was studying, but because your eyes wouldn't bother to focus no matter how much you tried, and it was seriously ticking you off.  
And no matter how much you tried not to focus on Rose, your mind wouldn't stray away from the girl next to you, stuck to her like the gum that was on the bottom of your shoe. "Well, I hope we can become more than acquaintances." She closed her eyes.  
"...yeah. me too." You watched her out of the corner of your eyes.  
As the class went on, you could feel yourself swell up in your seat, you not knowing if you should smile back every time she glanced at you--or even look her way to begin with.  
Play it cool.  
....  
Yeah just don't look nevermind.  
You're making yourself look stupid probably.  
The scream of the bell cut through the classroom like one of your katanas, you gathering your things as fast as you could. You wanted to have time to search for your next class. But by the time you were up, Rose was already making her way out into the hall, disappearing around the corner, her lavender skirt dancing around her.  
You had the urge to walk near her; wanted to see at least what class she had next, but the teacher had cut off your exit mid-stride. You bit the inside of your cheek as he talked to you, nodding to tell him you were still listening, but even he noticed the way your eyes would dance between the door and your green slip.  
He patted your shoulder, him giving you a little smile, sliding another paper into your stack. You breathe out a little sigh, pushing a smile onto your lips, trying to keep it there as you slipped out the door.  
You look for Rose, standing on your tippy toes, but as expected, she is nowhere in sight.  
\-------  
You only saw him in the halls once that morning. It was this love-hate relationship you had with him there, and it was already driving you into the ground. And you felt awful about it because it wasn't his fault.  
So you decided to never  
Ever  
Talk to John Egbert.  
He is off limits for good.  
But that was going to be impossible, because as you were walking down the steps after school, he was there. You kept telling yourself not to look his way, but-  
Rose was talking to him.  
When your eyes met, you felt your stomach spin on it's head, because she did the smallest of smirks.  
It was as if you knew exactly what she was thinking  
'I know you're hiding something'  
You briskly kick your feet through the snow as you started making your way up the sidewalk. It was maybe an inch thick, but to you it was more than you'll ever ever need. The clouds that were above you were just like the ones in your head; thick and heavy, layering the sky with grey cotton.  
...  
"Hey, Eliza!"  
You kept telling your legs to run; burst into a full on sprint as he called out to you, but no matter how much you struggled, you couldn't help but turn to face him. He's a fucking magnet.  
Shit.  
Your phone buzzed.  
He was just finishing a text as he ran up to you, sliding his phone into his back pocket.  
Your nape went dead cold, feet frozen in the snow.  
"Do you walk this way?" He jogged up to you. his thick blue coat covering his arms.  
"What?- oh uh-" You swallow, his breath making little puffs of steam in the cold, them clouding your mind as you turn forward again. "Yeah, do you?" You knew the answer to that. Of course he did.  
"Mhmm~" He smiled warmly at you as you stared down at the ground,watching your sneakers trudge in the snow. You could already feel your socks getting soaked, toes starting to numb. "Mind if I walk with you?"  
"No-  
Not at all"  
John hummed slightly, admiring the powder around them. "Rose told me you're from Texas. Must be a big change."  
You felt your mouth go dry. "You.. know Rose?"  
He nodded blissfully. "Yeah, we're pretty close. She's got quite the brain, doesn't she."  
"I uh- I don't know much about her to be honest."  
"You don't? Oh well, can't blame you, you just got here. She's truly a strange one."  
"We're cousins"  
He looks up at you as you shutter, the wet socks turning your toes into ice. "She never told me that"  
"How much did she tell you in the first place?"  
"Enough to make a good impression"  
You feel a little smirk crawl onto your lips. "Oh yeah?" You didn't know if you should be impressed or not. "Did I meet your standards, Egbert?" You exhale a laugh,shaking off your nervousness as you draw out.  
"Pretty sure you did"  
And you knew at the moment  
That John Fersgeild Egbert was the definition of perfect.  
Well, you always knew that. You always knew that this teen was fucking flawless, but having him a foot away from you is totally different than texting (obviously).  
And you felt the thickest and worst kind of guilt walking with him and pretending you're a complete stranger.  
This was going to be the longest walk of your life.  
And it was.  
You didn't know what to say him, and neither did he, so this wall hung between you two and there was no way to fucking break it. Not a cough, not a laugh, not a glance.  
\--------  
EB: there's this new girl at school.  
You paused in front of the new place you call home, John having to take two steps backwards because he was too busy laughing to notice that you had stopped.  
EB: Rose told me about her, and I think she's pretty cool so far.  
"This is uh- my stop I guess"  
EB: It's funny, and I don't why.  
"Oh. Right- gee, we really do live close"  
EB: Maybe it's the way she talks or acts but  
"Yeah, it's nice"  
"So uh-"  
EB: She kind of made me think of you.  
"Is it cool if we could walk to school together tomorrow?"  
"Hm?"  
EB: Anyways, message me when you can  
"Not many of my friends live this way, so if you wanna walk with me-"  
"...Alright. I'm down with that"  
"Oh, great. So see you tomorrow?"  
"You can count on it"  
\-----  
You threw your backpack onto the bed, the door slamming behind you  
You reached into your pocket, reading the messages as you slid down against the darkened wood of the door.Taking a deep breath as you tip your head back, you let the phone slip from your fingers as you run both palms down your face, pulling on the skin of your cheeks, the biggest and stupidest of smiles spreading on your face.  
John was a force not to be reckoned with.  
And it was only the first day.  
\--  
Bro usually was home when you got home from school, but you guess since he's new at the club he now works at, it's expected that he would be there right now to show himself around and get acquainted with everyone.  
You pick up you phone and leap onto your bed, bluetoothing your music to your speakers, and letting your music play.  
TG: what makes you think that  
EB: I dunno, but she's very sweet  
TG: you calling me a sweetheart egbert  
TG: damn  
TG: im pretty damned flattered  
EB: :B  
TG: tell me about her  
TG: I wanna get a good picture of her in my mind man  
EB: well, she had long blonde hair. Like, really long. Lower back. And she's got these sunglasses that she wears in the Winter of all times. No wonder she got weird looks, they looked like they came straight out of one of your animes.  
You giggle-snort.  
EB:And her laugh is pretty cute too.  
You pause for a moment before breaking out into laughter again.  
TG: you make her sound like a dork bro  
EB: She is one :B  
TG: wow  
TG: ouch  
EB: oh get over yourself  
TG: gonna take more convincing than that


	4. Sisters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is log overdue  
> Christ.

"Izzi, for the thousandth time-"

"I know, you don't have to repeat yourself again."

"At least sit down. And put your seatbelt on for fuck's sake."  Bro grips the steering wheel tighter, hands tensing inside of his fingerless gloves. He seemed just as jumpy as you were.

There was a thick heavy cloud of drowsiness over the town today, fog snaking it's way through the streets.

You slumped your head against the chilling glass of the car, watching the droplets of water race their way down the window as you sat shotgun, trying to get comfortable in the leather seat.Your eyes shut as you heard the sounds of the dense drops of rain hit the roof of your sibling's ride.

Thud thud pit pat thut

"How's the smaller one? Any good?"

pit pit pat thud thwack

"You mean Rose? Yeah, she's fine. Nice."

Thud thud thwack pit pat

"Good to hear. You two friends yet?"  
"I.. I think so?" You took a moment to think. To be honest you never really thought about the question if Rose considered you a friend in the first place. It's only been about a good two weeks.

Two unorganized, awkward, and challenging weeks. 

"Good." The area Bro was in wasn't very different than the neighborhood you now lived in, trees surrounding the sides of the roads, giving the pallet of the scenery many shades of green. The number of houses slowly thinned until there were one or two every two to three minutes, as if the forest was swallowing them into their maze.

"You sure you got the right address?"

"Of course."

"How can you be sure? This seems pretty far out-"

"Because we're here."

The car slammed to a stop, making you thankful you had taken Bro's safety precaution to save you from flying forward and getting thrown into the windshield. You get anxious in the car with Bro driving, because he isn't the smoothest in front of the wheel.

He told you once the only reason he got a car was because 'how else was he going to raise you'. The reason that that was brought up is something you don't like to think about.  
After having a moment to regain yourself, you look over at Bro, but he's already halfway out of the car, flinging his door open and leaning down so he doesn't hit his head on the way out.

Your hands fumble to open the door and unbuckle your seatbelt.(even though you had just nearly got it on) Struggling to find your footing in the gravel driveway, Bro looks over his shoulder at you. You don't take the time to see if he was being sarcastic or this 'formal dinner' was getting to his head.

"Hurry it up will you?"

"Trying." Fucking rain. You sprint--nearly slipping in the process-- and catch up with him. You jam your hands into your pockets, looking down so your shades don't get all wet and smeary from the drizzle.

Rose's house was the biggest one you've seen in this town so far, looking more like a science-fiction castle than a house. You nearly broke your neck trying to see it all. The white outer walls went as high as the trees, the  little towers along them looked like little escapes in the forest of leaves and pine needles in the tips of timber.

Of course, this description comes from a kid who's lived in slightly variating cramped and stuffy apartments all their life. Rose never said she was rich. But now that you think about it, she's not really the type person who would flaunt something like that.

You looked to the side as Bro rang the doorbell, chimes ringing inside. A whole set of church bells in that shit. 

You didn't know what you were expecting when you laid eyes on Rose's mother.

She definitely has the same perfect porcelain skin and black lips, her thin face joined together at the bottom with a small and childlike chin. She nearly tossed her wine glass when she saw your brother, her violet eyes brightening. 

"Dirk!" She cooed. Her voice reminded you of the doorbell, but maybe not as graceful because her words sounded sloppy, like they poured out of the mouth of a kindergartner. Drunk before the party even started. You think you like her already. 

She flung herself from the doorway and swung her arms around Bro in a tight hug, Bro breaking out into laughter. "Hey Roxy." 

"I'mso happetah see you!!~" Her high-pitched giggle was interrupted by a little hiccup, but that seemed to make her laugh even more. 

You took the liberty of letting yourself in,wanting to get a good look around on your own. 

The first thing you noticed was how sleek and clean everything was,the shiny marble under your feet making your sneakers and shirt combo look utterly sloppy. When you saw Rose, she literally looked like a princess in her palace as she leaned against the railing of the grand staircase. 

"LaLonde."

"Strider."

One corner of your mouth pulls into a smile.  
"You like what you see?" She put a hand on her waist.

"Yeah, you look- utterly gorgeous." It was true. Her short black dress was one to impress. The dark fabric went snug around her waist, and had a sweetheart neckline. The hint of white lace lining it made your eyes go straight to her collar bones. Every curve, every edge, and every crease of Rose seemed flawless.

She tilted her head to one side and raised her eyebrows playfully. "I was talking about the house, but" She started making her way down the stairs. "thank you."

You felt the blood rush to your face as she got closer towards you. "O-Oh" You rub the back of your neck. "Right. The house. It's fucking.. spectacular. Massive." You meet her at the foot of the staircase, beaming like a complete idiot. 

She nearly snorts. "Dork." She takes your hand and pulls you up the stairs, her grip extremely tight. You felt like a fish as you lost all coordination with your feet, flopping up behind her. 

"Where are we going?"

"My room."

She ushered you down the raised- ceiling hallways to the very last door. 

She took a little key out of the pocket of her skirt, unlocking it. You snort. This is so typical of her.

The room you and Rose were in seemed so out of character compared to the rest of the house. Mess. Everywhere. Yarn strings were nearly hanging from the ceiling (mostly purple) and pillows cluttered the floor. The one window in it was cracked open and had a telescope jammed through the little opening. It looked like an arts and crafts store exploded inside and Rose never bothered to pick it up.

If you fell over in Rose's room, it would be like landing on cloud. You had to take your shoes off at the doorway because you didn't want to get all the fabrics and patterns dirty. 

The weirdest little black cat made it's way next to you on the bed where you sat, rubbing against your side. Rose was on the opposite corner of her mattress, watching you pet the feline and guide it into your lap. It was more like a blanket fort than a bed.   
"Jasper" She looked up at you with eyes outlined with neat black eyeliner.

"Hm?" You blink.

"That's his name."

"Oh. He's cute." You warmly smile without even really realizing it.

"You like cats?"

"Sorta. It depends."

She laughed at that. "I love them."

"Yeah, you look like you would."

"Oh?" 

You didn't know how to respond, breathing out a laugh. "Yeah." 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, the cat leaping from your lap as you reached to check it. 

John.

"Who is it?" 

You jumped. "Oh uh..-" You tried to look distracted with your mobile device. "It's uh, my cousin."

You wanted to slap yourself right across the face.

Rose snorted. "Strider, even though we've just met, I know you like the back of my hand already."

You swallowed. 

"You're lying." She yawned and stretched. Like a cat. "You don't have to tell me but-"

"John.

It's uh

John."

She stopped and focused her eyes on you, and this is the first time you've ever seen her look puzzled. "If you would've just told me that I wouldn't be worried, but" She scooted closer. "Now you've got my attention." She didn't know if she should be laughing or legitimately anxious. 

You make haste as you shove your phone deep into your jacket pocket before Rose got any ideas. 

"You shouldn't be worried. We're friends bro, that's all." You pushed your shades up on the bridge of your nose, you straining to keep your nearly straight face.

She raised an eyebrow,then looked down at your pocket.

The vibrations could be heard, ringing over and over again. Fucking christ. She smirked,then looked down at your pocket.

She let it go, shrugging, plopping down again, this time sitting closer.

"It's just weird."

"What is?" You say as you try to muffle the ringing.

She looked over at you with her eyes like slits, opened only halfway, a faint smile on her face. 

"He never messages me that fast. Or anyone for that matter."

Your palms got sweaty and hot, so shoving them both in your pockets was your attempt at hiding it.

"It's nothing."  
\------  
As you rode on the way from the dinner with a full stomach, your eyelids felt incredibly heavy. You allowed yourself to sit in the backseat so you could lie down, the sky darkening, and the moon being only a speck of white haze in the thick clouds.

The bright screen of your phone was nearly blinding as you tried to put in your phone password, but you could barely focus.

When you finally stop having to squint because of the eye-ripping shine, you see that Rose has texted you. 

You already felt like waiting to check till you got home (or after you wake up) but you sigh out your nose and open up the chat log.

TT: Hello Elizabeth.  
TT: I know you're still uneasy around me. I sense it. And to be honest, I feel the same way too sometimes.  
TT: But I go with my gut when I say I trust you.  
TT: And I want you to know, that when things get in a pinch or you're feeling quite blue,  
TT: I'm here for you.  
Because I know you would do the same.  
.......  
TG: ♡  
-  
You held your phone close to you in your arms the whole way home, face heated to a rosey pink.

"So were you right? About the Rose girl I mean." Your brother says  a hushed tone, just in case you were sleeping.

"More than we ever thought."

TT:♡

\-------  
This wasn't one of the first times you've mistreated Rose, and it wouldn't be the last. You knew her stress was just as bad as yours as she tried to hide how much her hands were trembling as she fumbled to unlock her room. 

It was consuming her. You can't imagine how paranoid she feels, locking her door when home alone.

The cold that hit you when you saw her room made you feel like your heart had squeezed out of your body and left a pit where it once was.

It was spotless.

She stood in the middle of the wooden floor, looking up at you with eyes that were once so filled with the knowledge of the world around them. 

"Is he going to be okay?"

"...."

You saw her eyes start to brim with tears before you even drew in the words to respond. 

"Rose- please-" You hold her face in your hands, forcing her to face you. She looked like a scolded puppy, you wiping the corner of her eyes with your thumbs. 

"Please don't cry..."


	5. I'm picking this writing thing back up again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm picking this writing thing back up again.  
> This is an old thing i never published, so let's kick it off with that

"So how are you?"

"Can't think of any better conversation starters?"

She grinned.

You liked Rose. You hoped she liked you too. It was as simple as that.  
Dawn reflected off your shades as you made your way down the sidewalk with her. It was that type of early where nothing seems real. Like, the frost on the metal fences and windshields of cars seemed like the aftertaste the night left behind. 

"Alright Strider, gimme something else to talk about." You can hear the crunch of the new powder under her regal boots.  
That's another thing about being up early. You're the first ones of the day to make their way down this sidewalk, and one of the first to exhale their hot steamy breath into the cold.  
"Okay..how about..." You had to take a moment to think. Your mind wasn't in the best state right now, considering you only got to sleep about an hour or less last night. It usually wasn't a big deal, but Rose came when the sun was just rising.  
You then realize that you never told Rose your apartment number.  
Not that you mind that she woke you.  
"Tell me about the time you were the happiest."  
You raise an eyebrow at her.   
"What's the happiest you remember yourself being and what were the circumstances." She jumped a few steps ahead.  
"...that's hard."   
"Then think hard."  
You peer up at the sun, your sunglasses on even at this hour. You're sure it bothered her a little, but Rose isn't the type of person to question something like that.  
"I think.. It was when my brother got legal custody over me." Your hands fumbled around inside your pockets. "I dunno. The thought at the time of living alone with him made everything so easy."   
You felt her eyes hard on you. "Your parents?-"  
"..Yeah uh-" You rubbed the back of your head. "Mom died, Dad died mentally." You pull a cheeky grin and shrug.  
She didn't know what expression to have, her eyes looking up at you like a child.  
"Sorry to bring it up-" You felt like you were going to scare her off.  
She smiled slightly. "My dad passed away too. Car accident."   
"Rose-" You felt like an ass, as if you rubbed a rough spot in her that she tried really hard to cover up. "Come're." You pull her into a hug. Her face goes against your chest, Rose hiding in her scarf. You leaned down and nuzzled her cheek, your skin cold compared to her rosy face.  
This felt like a breakthrough, since she rarely is one for embraces.  
You kept walking, a little closer to Rose than before.  
"I think I found a new happy moment." You say, looking straight ahead.   
"Me too." Her smile was relaxed. "I found a friend." Her black lips seemed so beautiful against the white backdrop.  
There was a silence, and for once, it was comforting.   
"Is it okay if I ask? How she died I mean." Her voice was hushed, the air and wind taking up the rest of her voice.  
"Oh uh, she went missing." You pulled the corner of your lips up to show she didn't have to worry. "I was like, nine months old, so don't worry about it. I don't remember what she looks like and we only have like two pictures of her."   
"What a shame." She exhaled, her breathing like a dragon.   
"Shame?"  
"She never got to see how beautiful you turned out to be."  
You felt her smile without even looking her way.  
Another long silence was welcomed, Rose softly humming to herself.  
"You never told me where you're leading me to,by the way."  
"Very true, but you never asked."  
"Touché."  
"Let's make it a surprise."  
You shrug.  
\--  
Surprise it was indeed.  
"John?"


End file.
